Dear Luigi,
I understand that times are difficult - Obama is stuck up a tree and Gordon Brown thinks he's a vampire - but that is no reason for you to make rash decisions such as that you have mentioned in your carefully crafted letter. I fear my life will go strange and awful places if you truly decide to become a nun. Nevertheless, I believe that the Sun has spoken in bright rays of nuggets of warm knowledge, and in the words of Elton John "DON'T RUIN MY TROUSERS" I beg you to reconsider. Having said that, deep down inside I believe this decision will be good for the both of us and so do my dogs. Listening to the birds tweet on a Tuesday morning is not a pretty sight but by God i've learnt to live with it, and maybe I'll learn to live with this. Bruce Forsythe sends his love, and has vowed to replace you as my lover from now on. I kindly reject this offer taking into account his clown feet and his big, pervy ancient binoculars. The time has come for me to wrap this up so I'll sign off with the precious philosophy of Elton John "Don't hurt those you love by making stupid decisions that don't even make sense yeh you stupid piece-a-shit, you lousy so and so"
Love Razzle
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