You've got to go steal a ham

So everyone has been reunited at Beechtree as of yesterday, and we're all working real hard on various projects relative to our degrees. Raz is examining insects' genitalia, Ana is working on her Hitchcock essay, Kate's watching a French film and C is....well she's doing God knows what, but we trust her. I have hiccups at present which is ever so frustrating, and I'm trying to revise some awful literature whilst writing about Spain. Andy is downstairs but is shedding fur faster than Raz devours a jar of olives, we're kinda reluctant to touch him. Raz had a hairbrain idea to 'wax' him using selotape to stop this problem but this failed and Andy got a bit annoyed...so we're all at a loss.

EXAMS start for us this week, Raz's start tomorrow (mwahaha) and I start on Fri but I have double the exams she does so according to Einstein's theory............I think we're even. Raz needs AAA batteries for her electronic dictionary btw, so if you have any they'd be greatly appreciated.

In other news Swine Flu is on the increase so Raz is warning the house not to buy bacon. Some of us did anyway but we can assure you it did not come from Mexico. Why is Danish bacon so special??? Does anyone know if cats can contract the disease?????

I have nothing else of interest to say today as my inspiration has been drained. I'd like some of you to pester Raz to write the next entry because...it's been a while since we've heard her words of wisdom! I'm beginning to question her commitment to the project, might have to change the blog to 'Luigi don't play guitars' unless she gets her ass out the dustbin and writes something GOOD!

Luigi x

There's a party in my belly button

Now Raz and myself may tend to exaggerate for dramatic effect, but here are some home truths (they are the truth) about us which you probably do not know.

Number a) neither of us can drive, if we were to drive I'd be in an eco friendly hybrid car and Raz would probably be in a cool retro car of the last Millenium or a gaz-guzzling Land Rover
b) we are both second year students at uni but neither of us know fo sho what we want to do 'when we grow up'...
c) neither of us drink coffee because we both get headaches of the painful variety
d) neither of us are actually FROM north London, but we've lived there longtym
e) we both like photography but we have very different styles. (Maybe we should upload more of our stuff?)
f) we kind of fit into the Howard/Vince complex (for those of you who don't know these guys, check out The Mighty Boosh on YouTube) Howard = me, Vince = Raz (to a certain extent)
g) we like Twitter
h) we're both really into politics and have a strong inexplicable attraction to Gordon Brown
----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

Ok there's one lie in there but which is it??

Peace out, and in the words of Benjamin Franklin, GOOD DAY SIRS

Luigi and Raz xxx

So much for that inspiring article

Dear everybody,
Following Sir_Almo's self-publicising (ahaha) on Twitter I decided to take note and promote this really cool London band. So, if you do one thing today, DON'T donate to LiveAid and DON'T sponsor a donkey, listen to Bloc Party. Btw these guys have been my favourite band for +5years so think twice before you criticise them.......not that you'll find reason to criticise them. Just don't listen to Raz on this one, she has the flu so her judgement has been temporarily corrupted. So yeah, check them out below!!!
Lots of love from Luigi xxx
P.S let's all wish Raz a speedy recovery :)

Twitter

Hi folks,

Me and Luigi have recently been engulfed by the Twitter bug so check us out if you are on there....just show some support God Damnit. Here are our carefully chosen alias ID's - it's TheRazz for moi and Luigles for guess who. And if you are disgusted by this shameless advertising, so you should be.

Love you's
xxx

Your ass is on FIRE! (RE: letter to my friend)

Dear Luigi,
I understand that times are difficult - Obama is stuck up a tree and Gordon Brown thinks he's a vampire - but that is no reason for you to make rash decisions such as that you have mentioned in your carefully crafted letter. I fear my life will go strange and awful places if you truly decide to become a nun. Nevertheless, I believe that the Sun has spoken in bright rays of nuggets of warm knowledge, and in the words of Elton John "DON'T RUIN MY TROUSERS" I beg you to reconsider. Having said that, deep down inside I believe this decision will be good for the both of us and so do my dogs. Listening to the birds tweet on a Tuesday morning is not a pretty sight but by God i've learnt to live with it, and maybe I'll learn to live with this. Bruce Forsythe sends his love, and has vowed to replace you as my lover from now on. I kindly reject this offer taking into account his clown feet and his big, pervy ancient binoculars. The time has come for me to wrap this up so I'll sign off with the precious philosophy of Elton John "Don't hurt those you love by making stupid decisions that don't even make sense yeh you stupid piece-a-shit, you lousy so and so"

Love Razzle

Mercury's in Retrograde (a letter to my friend)

Dear Raz,

I don't really know how to tell you this, I’m joining the Convent. I think I realised it when you smacked my ass at the Elton John concert and I saw you hit on the Catholic priest. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.

Greetings to your frog Leonard,

Luigi x

the problem with onions.....and some delicious facts

they make me cry, they give me smelly breath, they isolate me from others, they think they are better than garlic, they do not have any sympathy, they can cause damage to the cornea, they mock your sensitivity, they exasperate lions.

Some facts about onions:
-In ancient Greece athletes ate lots of onions to lighten the balance of the blood
-During the Middle Ages, physcicians prescribed onions to alleviate headaches, snakebites and even hair loss
-onions were so important to Europeans that they used them as currency in the Middle Ages to pay for essentials such as rent. They were even given as gifts.

(by the way guys I am not talking gibberish, I found this info on a crop sheet about onions)

Acceptable in the 80's

A list of things that happened or were acceptable in the 80's:

- shoulder pads
- leg warmers
- plastic bags
- aerosol sprays
- clashing colours
- big, frizzy hair (I still carry this trend due to my Kurdish genes)
- slapping people every second friday of the month
- WHAM!
- jelly drinks (still available in our college shop)
- swearing at kids
- abusing colour
- Mohican
- Brylcreem
- MJ gloves
- the moonwalk
- homosexuality was considered a disease
- people used to think Car Wash's were a fun ride
- the hip-hop scene evolved
- me and Luigi were born to the delight of our blog followers
- doing the box in the club
- bandanas
- leotards
- Rubix cube
- David Bowie make-up
- using brocolli as an item of clothing
- Freddie Mercury moustache
- poop bags
- slapping other people's kids
- smashing plates
- peeping on your neighbours through a discreet hole in the wall
- sheep shagging
- men wearing tight short-shorts
- the colour orange

this list is welcome to suggestions :)