I don't really know how to tell you this, I’m joining the Convent. I think I realised it when you smacked my ass at the Elton John concert and I saw you hit on the Catholic priest. I'm sure you're middle-class enough to understand that I get turned on only by garbage men. I'm returning your Hannah Montana underwear to you, but I'll keep your suicide note as a memory. You should also know that I never will forget that night and I’m off to lead a new life as a lemon.
Greetings to your frog Leonard,
Luigi x
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