FYI

I hope you've all heard of Dan Meth. If not, you should go bury yourself in autumnal leaves and stay there for atleast 5 mins. Anyway, here's a video of his for you beginners. Also check out his website www.danmeth.com

From me To you.

Oh so you didn't make it to the gig?
Found out your head was too big.

What's that? You can't find your pants
They're probably in the SLUT isle at Tescos
And while you're there, get me some Mentos
And coke for the afterparty.

Deliberately trying to be indiscreet,
Yeh that's so sweet,
Splenda's your kind
Don't forget to save the coupons B.

Had me LMAO-ing all the time,
Isn't hindsight deceiving,
Don't worry i'l be eating,
Just not the same shit as you.

XOXO

WE LOVE Josh's Commute to Work

Josh's Commute to Work: A Tribute to Michael Jackson from 3to1 Studios on Vimeo.

Yeah.

A word of warning guys

Pringles are addictive and they can often make you forget to eat proper lunches and dinners.

A lyric i like

Running to catch up
The last city bus
Wearing out your yellow
Hula dress
Lipstick a mess
Your ch-cherry best
Kissing on the window
Just to check on the red.

from At The Back Of The Shell by The Kills (not The Killers although i like them too)

Hindsight.

Last Wednesday me and my housemates finally decided to stop being lazy and go to THORPE PARK - for those of you not in the U.K, that's a theme park - and it's very near to our house which makes us seem even more like lethargic students. Well anyway, we went on pretty much every ride there was in the park - which seems like the ideal thing to do - but water rides in winter you say? Yes even those. See this is the thing, the first water ride we went on was pretty chillaxed and by that i mean we got a few splashes here and there - everyone was fairly dry. Thus making the whole thing fun and non-threatening. However, after this first taste of water we were fairly pumped and decided to go on a more extreme water ride called Tidal Wave (you'd think the name in itself would be a warning but no we decided to ignore that). Our saner housemate, Cecilia, decided to sit this one out, so me, Ana and Luigi went right ahead. Another thing that should have put us off (but didn't) was the sight of people who had just been on the ride - and were literally dripping wet. So we got in and as soon as you sat down on your seat your bum was immediately soaked from the amount of water that had gone on the seats from the previous turns. Still, we were pretty sure we'd made the right decision. So as soon as the thing plunges downwards and the water makes a splash you think 'Oh that wasn't that bad' - but there's a 3 second pause before you get TOTTALY DRENCHED. To demonstrate the immense nature of this drenching would be to tell you this; Ana had her water-proof coat zipped all the way up but the water still managed to seep under it. But that's not the least of our stupidity. Me and Luigi thought it would be a good idea to go on it again - Ana being slightly wiser than us got off while she could. And since there were no queues (it was a weekday) you didn't have to line up again to go on it a second time, you just got plunged straight back down once you'd come up. This was mine and Luigi's crazy logic - 'We're so wet, we CAN'T possibly get any more wet' - GUESS AGAIN suckers. And fair enough, if it was a sunny summer's day, but no it was mid-autumn chills. So we were pretty much wet for the rest of the day - despite going on numerous roller coasters in a series of attempts to get dry fast. There were various human dryers around the park though - you had to pay £2 for 3 minutes worth of drying which is clearly a rip off but there were these kids with loadsa change who kept topping up the machine so we got a few free goes. But these didn't help, they just made the cold wetness into warm wetness and as soon as you stepped out of them you were pretty freezing again. Here's a picture of us in the futile dryer:

Behind All That Ketchup and Soya Sauce There's Us.

Ana & Me - a combination for sillyness.

Little pink baskets in abandoned winter gardens. How's that for a title?

Hello?
Who is this?
It's Julia.
Who's Julia?
From school, remember?
I don't remember no Julia.
Are you serious? We dated for like 3 months.
What? Is this a prank?
No, you prick, stop playing dumb.
You know what, i'm just gona hang up cuz this is stupid.
You're joking, right?
No I'm not joking, Gooday!
Oh Eff You, alright - you're a loser.
*TooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooT*

We Have A Blog???

OK i'm gona be honest guys, i kinda forgot (and i think Luigi has too as there are no posts from her to prove otherwise) about this whole blogging thing. I think we can be forgiven though cuz for the past two weeks we've had the difficult task of settling back into Uni life and sorting out house shizzle (still no internet). Our landlady is proving to be, quite frankly, annoying. She's so effing attached to the house that she'll notice the smallest things. Like i swear she's in love with the "brand new" wooden flooring as she's always going on about how careful we should be and how much it cost them and that it's BRAND NEW! The other day she came round and noticed the tiniest bumps on the table - so now she's gona take it out of our deposit. She's acting as if though they're the best antique tables in the world and not some cheap IKEA crap! Also she sees herself as such a bloody professional and yet it took her 2 weeks to provide the most basic of items - kettle and toaster! Arghh glad that's off my chest. In other news third year uni has been pretty good so far - but i'm guessin that's because i haven't had to do any essays yet, just LOADS of reading. But i'm used to that. We had our housewarming party on Friday - that was really good despite the stress of preparing for it. One too many drinks for me though, i think i'll lay off the alcohol for a while. So yeh i think that counts as a blog post so i'm gona sign out cuz i have masses and masses of Chaucer and Hegel reading to do and a stupid cold which means my attention span is even shorter than usual.
PEACE x

WARNING: rant

So amidst all these dreams, there is ofcourse reality. The reality that right now we don't have internet at home. The reality that Fresher's Week is already over and the serious stuff begins next week. The reality that there is no longer a cat we can stroke. The shit reality that we are gona be more broke and stressed than ever. The crap reality that we are gona lose a lot of sleep which means less dreaming and even more dull REALITY*.



*Reality liable to change. Now breathe.

As Deep As This Blog Will Get

So I was flicking through my notebook today when i came across this entry from Luigi which made me laugh:

Luigi's dream 14/06/09

Raz was on msn to me confessing all of her embarassing habits, starting off with burping. As the habits became gradually more unpleasant, Raz decided to send me her last (and worst) one via email, as she feared my response. The email said 'sometimes I fart.'

Creepy Cat Portrait

Poser

I'm that poser you hate,
I'm that poser you love,
I'm that poser you date,
I'm that poser you shove,
I'm that poser motherfucker doing the handstand on the water,
Doing the back flips on your mother's car,
Talking to birds cuz they understand me,
I'm that poser,
Come a little closer, I have the petrol
you gots the lighter so lets watch jealousy burn, burn, burn.

Hot dang

Here's my desktop background for all those who are undoubtedly massively interested. I took this photo of my dog Jasper last spring but he's still dressed like this now.

Love Luigi and Jasper xxx

feel the love!

Well hello there.

Raz is away for a few days so I’m responsible for the blog until she gets back. I know, major responsibility, lets hope I can cope. Anyway I was reading The Times yesterday and came across the poor old dating column thing (lonely hearts is it?) and no, before you start feeling sympathetic, this isn’t leading to a confession that I was searching for a potential lover. I was amusing myself with the odd and slightly pitiable things people had written, my favourite being ‘well-trained, tall, attractive Libran looking for new Kennel. House trained and affectionate. Good coat and teeth, worth rescuing. 1950s model, Norfolk’, although I’m not sure whether it’s witty or just plain stupid. And so, because it’s free to place an ad (and because I thought it would be really quite funny) I decided I’d submit my own which goes something like this:

‘I like big butts on my ideal guys! Obese mama, 42, likes eating out, take away or even drive thru if that’s what you’re into. Seeks man with similar curves. If your BMI is 27+ call me now. Ldn/ Herts”

Now we wait for the people at The Times to publish this heart-wrenching plea for love.

Others I’d considered include:

‘Mr Muscle, bathroom cleaner and general do-gooder. Once I rescued a cat for Mrs Mc Ginty and won ‘most likely to rescue a cat’, in that order. I am in between jobs but on the plus side my mother's on her death bed. Helllllo inheritance. I’m 33 and weigh 109 pounds. S. Wales’ ....or ‘Jeckyll or Hyde? You decide. I am a kind hearted 47 year old male interested in gardening and volunteering. Sometimes I kill mice and sacrifice them to the devil but this is occasional. If you want a selfless, kind, split personality, wife beating, musical partner, I’m your guy!! Don’t f***ing call me on this number, many thanks. Glasgow.’

I would.

2 Girls 1 Cup - Ana's reaction

I'm sure you've all seen the video in question folks - it's pretty disgusting - but the reaction videos never fail to make me laugh. Here's our friend Ana's reaction. I forgot to put this up months ago but better late than never i guess. Enjoy.

2 girls 1 cup - Ana's reaction from Raz Barzinji on Vimeo.

Cool song I heard today

I´ll kill her from Joerg Barton on Vimeo.

nobody lost, nobody found

G’afternoon all!

So I am back in London after spending some weeks away on holidai, and, to be honest, I kind of want to emigrate. It’s not that I don’t like England – I’m sure everyone feels a little disheartened when they come back home after a great holiday – but I’m a bit bored of the same old same old, and London can only offer so much after nearly 16 years here. This outlook of change prompted me to consider my future, at which point I became depressed, as I still have no solid career plans and only one year at university left to decide. ARGHHHH. I’ve considered several possibilities including journalism and working in an embassy but neither have really got that massive appeal anymore. So, after much thought, I’ve decided it’s probably best to employ someone to determine what would be best for me in the employment field. Raz refused this position on the grounds that it was too boring and held much responsibility for her, so I’m instead going to shamelessly advertise here in the blog and probably also in some crappy paper like the London Lite/ Metro. Tube commuters know best and all that.
Here are my employable attributes:
1) I can read
2) I like most fruit bar watermelon and prunes (?)
3) I like to travel
4) I speak no Spanish
5) I can use Excel spreadsheets
6) I have a good sense of direction

That should be enough.
God help me.
Love from the one that ain’t Raz


p.s. please find attached my photo, I hope this furthers my job opportunities

Follower interest : Low

Either that or no one really cares about my latest poll. Just tryna get a rough idea about the state of our follower's humble abodes. So vote and don't lie.

Love y'all

It ain't Coca-Cola it's rice

I've been kinda bored recently. Gota a load of parcels from the web today - it's always exciting when your web orders arrive. I ripped through the packaging like some kinda cardboard-monster. I had some sorta allergic reaction to something i ate. Can't pinpoint which food exactly. It was either those Percy Pig and Pals sweets or Chicken Noodles - or maybe when the two are mixed - that's not to say i have some sorta sick food fetish - i just happened to have those two things one after the other. Well anyway it made my throat itchy and my tongue kinda got a bit swollen - not so swollen that i had trouble speaking - but it was slightly visible. I got all panicked cuz i thought that my throat would swell up so i wouldn't be able to breathe. I started reading all kinda bullshit on the net. Some person on a forum said that they woke up one morning with an itchy swollen jaw. This freaked me out. I didn't sleep very well that night. Understandeably the first thing i did when i got up that morning was touch my face to check i hadn't transformed into the Elephant Man overnight. I hadn't. That was a relief.
Enough allergy talk. I have decided to get back into swimming - actually scrap that - I have decided to get into swimming - i don't think i was ever into it. I haven't been near a pool since secondary school - so that's 4 years!!! Back then i only went cuz it was compulsory but still i managed to skip a lot of those classes - i should have won some sorta award for the amount of P.E notes i faked. It's kinda easier for girls with the whole period excuse - still, you can't exactly say that every week - God knows i tried. So yeh i went a bit mental with the swimming gear - i ordered goggles, caps, ear plugs - yeh i went all out. For the amount it's cost me I better like this whole water business. My friend kinda put me off the other day - telling me about a whole buncha people who had drowned. Talking of morbid circumstances - me and the fam went to eat out at some restaurant the other day and on the table behind us was a decent looking family - but their lunatic son kept going on about horrific injuries, murders and suicides. Bloody killed the whole mood. But the food there was effing ace so it made up for it. It's called Olive Tree and it's a Greek restaurant in Finsbury Park. Y'all should check it out. Anways folks that's all I have to say or more truthfully that's all i could be bothered to type.
Love Razzle x

Calcium is good for you

More Tightened Restrictions

Tightened Restrictions

Stumbling hunchbacks with flailing arms are not permitted in this joint

Sunglasses

It was around November last year when myself and Luigi found ourselves on the net browsing for necessities for our upcoming house party that we came across this video.



It cracked us up at the time and still makes us laugh to this day, despite having slightly over-played it at the beginning. As the video progresses you realise that both the interviewer and the interviewee are equally stupid which results in some of the most stupid words to have ever been put together in a sentence such as "I'll say sorry, but I'm not taking off my glasses". This quote has even made it onto a Tshirt which I shall be buying for Luigi as a Birthday present

a hug in a mug?

I drank this whilst listening to The Clash. What's that word? Juxtaposition.

Yes please!

I'm sure you'll find this very interesting

Things on my wall from Raz Barzinji on Vimeo.

uh that's not the point

Stupid questions = interesting answers, mostly.

So Raz and I were supposed to be directing guests' vehicles to various car parks across the campus during our uni's Graduation Week. These guests were predominantly parents and grandparents of the graduates, so a serious crowd.

What we ended up doing was asking these guests whether they'd already seen Bruno (the film) yet, instead of telling them where to park.

Here are some of the responses Luigi got to "have you seen Bruno?":

1) Elderly Chinese grandfather in broken English: "uh, sorry, uhh no, not Bruno, who is Bruno?" and middle aged Chinese guy in passenger seat says triumphantly: "no....but I have the Borat ringtone!"

2) Typical, middle class English family: [looking frustrated and confused] "What? Look where can we park please?"

3) Random female member of staff: "WHO?"

4) Middle aged father: "I haven't, no. But wait my daughter has!" [daughter and mother nod enthusiastically]

5) And our boss, Richard, completely dismissed the question.

We want to know if YOU have seen Bruno yet (or if you're planning to), and if so did you liiiiiiiiike it?

So I ran......

So I ran and ran and ran until I could run no more, and when I finally came to a halt I could smell the sea, the sun, the tigers and their cubs all at once. I took it in but then I exhaled and vowed to never inhale again. This was it. I wanted nothing more to do with Oxygen. My thoughts ran weak, and I could tell from the way the sky sneered that it was all coming to a miserable end. An end that was more photogenic than I could have imagined. It was beautiful in a very vicious way. A calm yet chaotic demise with no witnesses but pure thought. What was I to do? Take a picture? Write a note? What difference does it make? It will all be lost and forgotten. And yet a part of me wanted to document this tragedy for whatever reason the hindsight of death may offer. Just incase. You know. Just in case.