Poser

I'm that poser you hate,
I'm that poser you love,
I'm that poser you date,
I'm that poser you shove,
I'm that poser motherfucker doing the handstand on the water,
Doing the back flips on your mother's car,
Talking to birds cuz they understand me,
I'm that poser,
Come a little closer, I have the petrol
you gots the lighter so lets watch jealousy burn, burn, burn.

Hot dang

Here's my desktop background for all those who are undoubtedly massively interested. I took this photo of my dog Jasper last spring but he's still dressed like this now.

Love Luigi and Jasper xxx

feel the love!

Well hello there.

Raz is away for a few days so I’m responsible for the blog until she gets back. I know, major responsibility, lets hope I can cope. Anyway I was reading The Times yesterday and came across the poor old dating column thing (lonely hearts is it?) and no, before you start feeling sympathetic, this isn’t leading to a confession that I was searching for a potential lover. I was amusing myself with the odd and slightly pitiable things people had written, my favourite being ‘well-trained, tall, attractive Libran looking for new Kennel. House trained and affectionate. Good coat and teeth, worth rescuing. 1950s model, Norfolk’, although I’m not sure whether it’s witty or just plain stupid. And so, because it’s free to place an ad (and because I thought it would be really quite funny) I decided I’d submit my own which goes something like this:

‘I like big butts on my ideal guys! Obese mama, 42, likes eating out, take away or even drive thru if that’s what you’re into. Seeks man with similar curves. If your BMI is 27+ call me now. Ldn/ Herts”

Now we wait for the people at The Times to publish this heart-wrenching plea for love.

Others I’d considered include:

‘Mr Muscle, bathroom cleaner and general do-gooder. Once I rescued a cat for Mrs Mc Ginty and won ‘most likely to rescue a cat’, in that order. I am in between jobs but on the plus side my mother's on her death bed. Helllllo inheritance. I’m 33 and weigh 109 pounds. S. Wales’ ....or ‘Jeckyll or Hyde? You decide. I am a kind hearted 47 year old male interested in gardening and volunteering. Sometimes I kill mice and sacrifice them to the devil but this is occasional. If you want a selfless, kind, split personality, wife beating, musical partner, I’m your guy!! Don’t f***ing call me on this number, many thanks. Glasgow.’

I would.

2 Girls 1 Cup - Ana's reaction

I'm sure you've all seen the video in question folks - it's pretty disgusting - but the reaction videos never fail to make me laugh. Here's our friend Ana's reaction. I forgot to put this up months ago but better late than never i guess. Enjoy.

2 girls 1 cup - Ana's reaction from Raz Barzinji on Vimeo.

Cool song I heard today

I´ll kill her from Joerg Barton on Vimeo.

nobody lost, nobody found

G’afternoon all!

So I am back in London after spending some weeks away on holidai, and, to be honest, I kind of want to emigrate. It’s not that I don’t like England – I’m sure everyone feels a little disheartened when they come back home after a great holiday – but I’m a bit bored of the same old same old, and London can only offer so much after nearly 16 years here. This outlook of change prompted me to consider my future, at which point I became depressed, as I still have no solid career plans and only one year at university left to decide. ARGHHHH. I’ve considered several possibilities including journalism and working in an embassy but neither have really got that massive appeal anymore. So, after much thought, I’ve decided it’s probably best to employ someone to determine what would be best for me in the employment field. Raz refused this position on the grounds that it was too boring and held much responsibility for her, so I’m instead going to shamelessly advertise here in the blog and probably also in some crappy paper like the London Lite/ Metro. Tube commuters know best and all that.
Here are my employable attributes:
1) I can read
2) I like most fruit bar watermelon and prunes (?)
3) I like to travel
4) I speak no Spanish
5) I can use Excel spreadsheets
6) I have a good sense of direction

That should be enough.
God help me.
Love from the one that ain’t Raz


p.s. please find attached my photo, I hope this furthers my job opportunities

Follower interest : Low

Either that or no one really cares about my latest poll. Just tryna get a rough idea about the state of our follower's humble abodes. So vote and don't lie.

Love y'all

It ain't Coca-Cola it's rice

I've been kinda bored recently. Gota a load of parcels from the web today - it's always exciting when your web orders arrive. I ripped through the packaging like some kinda cardboard-monster. I had some sorta allergic reaction to something i ate. Can't pinpoint which food exactly. It was either those Percy Pig and Pals sweets or Chicken Noodles - or maybe when the two are mixed - that's not to say i have some sorta sick food fetish - i just happened to have those two things one after the other. Well anyway it made my throat itchy and my tongue kinda got a bit swollen - not so swollen that i had trouble speaking - but it was slightly visible. I got all panicked cuz i thought that my throat would swell up so i wouldn't be able to breathe. I started reading all kinda bullshit on the net. Some person on a forum said that they woke up one morning with an itchy swollen jaw. This freaked me out. I didn't sleep very well that night. Understandeably the first thing i did when i got up that morning was touch my face to check i hadn't transformed into the Elephant Man overnight. I hadn't. That was a relief.
Enough allergy talk. I have decided to get back into swimming - actually scrap that - I have decided to get into swimming - i don't think i was ever into it. I haven't been near a pool since secondary school - so that's 4 years!!! Back then i only went cuz it was compulsory but still i managed to skip a lot of those classes - i should have won some sorta award for the amount of P.E notes i faked. It's kinda easier for girls with the whole period excuse - still, you can't exactly say that every week - God knows i tried. So yeh i went a bit mental with the swimming gear - i ordered goggles, caps, ear plugs - yeh i went all out. For the amount it's cost me I better like this whole water business. My friend kinda put me off the other day - telling me about a whole buncha people who had drowned. Talking of morbid circumstances - me and the fam went to eat out at some restaurant the other day and on the table behind us was a decent looking family - but their lunatic son kept going on about horrific injuries, murders and suicides. Bloody killed the whole mood. But the food there was effing ace so it made up for it. It's called Olive Tree and it's a Greek restaurant in Finsbury Park. Y'all should check it out. Anways folks that's all I have to say or more truthfully that's all i could be bothered to type.
Love Razzle x

Calcium is good for you

More Tightened Restrictions

Tightened Restrictions

Stumbling hunchbacks with flailing arms are not permitted in this joint

Sunglasses

It was around November last year when myself and Luigi found ourselves on the net browsing for necessities for our upcoming house party that we came across this video.



It cracked us up at the time and still makes us laugh to this day, despite having slightly over-played it at the beginning. As the video progresses you realise that both the interviewer and the interviewee are equally stupid which results in some of the most stupid words to have ever been put together in a sentence such as "I'll say sorry, but I'm not taking off my glasses". This quote has even made it onto a Tshirt which I shall be buying for Luigi as a Birthday present

a hug in a mug?

I drank this whilst listening to The Clash. What's that word? Juxtaposition.

Yes please!

I'm sure you'll find this very interesting

Things on my wall from Raz Barzinji on Vimeo.

uh that's not the point

Stupid questions = interesting answers, mostly.

So Raz and I were supposed to be directing guests' vehicles to various car parks across the campus during our uni's Graduation Week. These guests were predominantly parents and grandparents of the graduates, so a serious crowd.

What we ended up doing was asking these guests whether they'd already seen Bruno (the film) yet, instead of telling them where to park.

Here are some of the responses Luigi got to "have you seen Bruno?":

1) Elderly Chinese grandfather in broken English: "uh, sorry, uhh no, not Bruno, who is Bruno?" and middle aged Chinese guy in passenger seat says triumphantly: "no....but I have the Borat ringtone!"

2) Typical, middle class English family: [looking frustrated and confused] "What? Look where can we park please?"

3) Random female member of staff: "WHO?"

4) Middle aged father: "I haven't, no. But wait my daughter has!" [daughter and mother nod enthusiastically]

5) And our boss, Richard, completely dismissed the question.

We want to know if YOU have seen Bruno yet (or if you're planning to), and if so did you liiiiiiiiike it?

So I ran......

So I ran and ran and ran until I could run no more, and when I finally came to a halt I could smell the sea, the sun, the tigers and their cubs all at once. I took it in but then I exhaled and vowed to never inhale again. This was it. I wanted nothing more to do with Oxygen. My thoughts ran weak, and I could tell from the way the sky sneered that it was all coming to a miserable end. An end that was more photogenic than I could have imagined. It was beautiful in a very vicious way. A calm yet chaotic demise with no witnesses but pure thought. What was I to do? Take a picture? Write a note? What difference does it make? It will all be lost and forgotten. And yet a part of me wanted to document this tragedy for whatever reason the hindsight of death may offer. Just incase. You know. Just in case.

empty threats?

This is what Raz said she would do to ME if I didn't contribute something to the blog:

The Watermelon Kid

All jokes aside

Since Bob's your uncle, I have reached the end of my tether and have therefore decided to give him a piece of my mind. But since a picture is worth a thousand words I shall show him this instead. He will then turn into a pot and start calling the kettle black. No worries though cuz I have a few tricks up my sleeve and lord knows it will start raining cats and dogs before I'm done with that sheep in wolf's clothing. Yet I will not compromise my dignity for I have bigger fish to fry and I think it will be best if he just hit the sack.

In a lazy mood

so here is a video featuring Jacko and my wacko family.

http://vimeo.com/5348092

The last few days in pictures

Me and sis met up in Trafalgar Square.
Loads of peope had drawn their flags on the pavement.
Sadly there was no chalk left for us to draw the Kurdish flag.









Then me and Ana went to see The Hangover. After the film, we just chilled out near the fountains in Trafalgar Square.

Yesterday I met Rebecca in Oxford St for a drink. I bought this Jumper from American Apparel which I'm in love with. Rebecca hates American Apparel though. She has yet to see the light. I also bought JELLY BEANS from Hamleys. Love jelly beans. I applied for a job there as well cuz all you do is demonstrate cool toys to kids. How fun is that. Seriously best job ever.

Here is a Rhyme.

Donnie is in Dover
eating all the clover,
Susie is in class
looking at Mike's ass,
Sarah is out shopping
for her pizza topping,
Harry is doing sit-ups
before signing his pre-nups,
Laura is missing
but no one here is looking,
Courtney is talking gibberish
and her breath smells like liquorice,
I am here writing
so don't you be hating!

British Mode

7 phrases/ events that have shaped my life (my week)

1) Monday = sports science: I met a fine chap who told me he studied sports science. This prompted me to consider and appreciate that not all people who study sports are stupid if there’s some science involved. But alas this guy was stupid anyway so my original theory was proved, in him at least.
2) Tuesday = BBQ: I went to my friends’ one and ended up eating macaroni cheese. That’s democracy for you.
3) Wednesday = volunteering choices: I opted out of bathing old people and chose secretarial stuff instead, although I have a hunch that I may come to regret this in later life.
4) Thursday = BNP: THAT racist party. Yes, the ones who liken rape to force feeding a woman chocolate cake (it’s wrong but they like it anyway) and vehemently deny the Holocaust ever happened. (for all the non-UK readers, unfortunately I’m not making this up, the BNP does actually exist: http://www.facebook.com/home.php#/group.php?gid=8644741474&ref=nf) They somehow managed to secure two seats in the European parliament, I am truly disgusted by the Brits who voted them in.
5) Friday = chocolate éclairs: I ate 6 that day, so the effect probably did shape me literally in the rotund sense
6) Saturday = drunk man: at about 1pm I spotted a drunk Scot stumbling around Portobello market, he asked for my name and I nearly took a photo but after considering the possibly unpleasant/ violent consequences, decided against the idea
7) Sunday = shisha: made plans with an old friend and agreed to let him take me to a shisha bar sometime next week, I am full of anticipation. Also I hope I don’t die from strange substance inhalation, will update you laterino

Next time I'll post a photo of Razzy and myself dressed as Russian Babushkas.

Love, as always, from Luigi x

No luck yet

I am seriously getting pissed off, cuz it seems as though no one is willing to give me a job. All I want is some summer work experience, damnit! Anywho I will remain hopeful, as hopeful as one can remain in these times. But fuck that. I want a job and I want it now. YOU HEAR ME? Course you don't. And to make matters worse, there is no sun. It's gone and it's been replaced by miserable droplets of acid rain. This town is a joke.

On the edge of bordeom

Photo of the day

Cat - Dog Dialogue

The Dog : Carpe Diem my friend.

The Cat : Fuck off!

Photo of the day

Leaving Egm for LDN

So this is kinda mine and Luigi's last time properly living at 64 Beechtree....we'll be back for visits and to move the rest of the stuff out in a few months but apart from that THIS IS IT! So wow, we've had some good memories at this place, even if we were critical of it at times. Most of all I think we'll miss Andy. It is gona be a definite struggle when we move into our new house and there is no Andy to sroke. It will be a period of mourning. Having said that, we are all very excited about next year. We like our new house and our new garden is far superior to the one we have now. So to celebrate we shall be having loads of bbq's. And now I shall proceed with my packing......ahhh ALAS.