News...

Following a visit from the cat burglar, residents at Beechtree Avenue have now taken extra precautions to hide their purses and their cats. The break-in took place on Sunday and was said to have been the most news-worthy story in the area for over a century. One local man described the incident as "absolutely spectacular" when asked to expand, he simply said "yes". Most of the inhabitants are old and are therefore hard of hearing, hence explaining their nonsensical answers. Police declared today that the suspect is of Caucasian influence however it being an entirely White town, this information has now been dismissed as useless.