Day 1

Ahoy there fellow bloggers! It's Raz and Luigi aboard the ship of life and we have arrived at the docks with exports from around the world beginning with Egham Town Centre and its pigeon forecast.

31st Jan
There has recently been some ambiguity about the aim of these grey creatures surrounding Tescos. We have spoken to pigeon expert, Michael Winner, who enlightened us on the topic. Winner started off by telling me about his wife, however I quickly reminded him that I was actually there to find out about his pigeon interest and to get the lowdown on what made these birds tick. He poured me a glass of Chardonnay and began thusly "I first became attracted to these cuties when I was on a safari expedition and my wife had just nodded off, which gave me plently of opportunity for exploration. I picked up a book which I'd always wanted to read but for fear of my wife never had the courage to, so now was my chance and it was narrated by pigeons".

"In fact Raz", he continued, "I would just like to read you a little extract (which I found so influential that I included it in my memoirs) and it reads like this...: "Mary steps back, steps forward, keeps her eyes fearfully, curiously on Dick's swimming trunks, perhaps to yield herself like a captured slave-girl to this lumbering victor [...] Dick does not claim his trophy. Moves on. Picks up the bottle of whisky. Hurls it into the Lode." I was overwhelmed with both pity and grief for the pigeon in the novel, he stole my heart with his honesty and I particularly warmed to his generosity regarding the charity donations to Noel Edmonds. And that's how I met Barack Obama!! Through our mutual appreciation of these creatures, we bonded over some humus and home-made crepes. It was divine!" By this point I was weak at the knees, and I knew that Winner's words had reached home.

Winner continued: "At this precise moment my wife awoke, and I hurrily hid the book between my thighs and the rest is history."